![]() ![]() (Crazy Carl unveils a drawing of "Sanic") You can't ignore us forever! Follow along with your hero as he hides in a cave for an entire decade, spying on everyone in town like the Pennywise of Montana. while those of us in the erotic Sonic fan art community had to make do with the bare minimum. Sonic: I think it's called a "chili dog"? Nailed it! But if you got sucked in to all the other Sonic media, you're going to have to be satisfied with a chili dog joke here and there. (Sonic speeds around the rubble picking up his rings) The Sonic you've always known is back, which, if you're just a casual fan, means he's fast and he collects rings. Sonic Commercial Announcer: This is how you Sonic. Wow, all of these product placements, and they didn't do the one that would actually fit. Tell them I need new frames.Ĭommander Walters: Have you tried their Never Ending Pasta Bowl? It never ends. Tom Wachowski: Make his a Mello Yello, please.ĭr. ![]() Sonic: Can you believe Amazon is gonna deliver packages with these things? Maddie Wachowski: Because when you're there. Maddie Wachowski: Apartments for rent I found on Zillow. Man, that must've cost a fortune I wonder where they found the money? He'll star in a movie so nice, they made it twice (a Looper article pops up with the title "Sonic the Hedgehog film getting design overhaul following backlash"), because for the first time in Internet history, an angry mob of nerds actually made something better, no matter how much pain and sweat it took for the animators to hit the release date. ![]() Meet Sonic the Hedgehog, a not-at-all-horrifying creature. Meet So-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! What is that?! No! Gross! Bad! I want that thing gone, you hear me?! Gone!! Phew, close call. Hey, it wouldn't be a Sega project if they weren't riffing on something Nintendo did first. I'm in! Sega Studios will crack the game movie code by making its star a quick furry animal, making them a cop or partnering them up with one, and okay, I'll say it: making a faster, bluer version of Detective Pikachu. "Sega Studios"? Slow your roll! A Sonic movie is one thing, but what's next? Ecco the Dolphin? Streets of Rage?!. Jackson "Jax" Briggs: Aw, now I've seen everything. It wasn't only the 2D games.In a world where the only thing worse than a movie tie-in video game is a video game tie-in movie. They really should rethink what made the Hedgehog great. I had to do every level about 10 times or so (beating it, collecting red rings, number rings and moon rings and failing sometimes) which kinda killed the experience. Collecting the red rings is a blast, but having to do that three times per level because there are three sets of different rings like in Forces is an overstretch. Mashing hordes of enemies because your homing automatically aims at them (or, at times, not) and ultimately falling down because of that isn't exactly the most joyful experience. I love 3D Sonics even more than I do the 2D ones, but what I love about it is the speed rush and the skillful maneuvring and the railgrinding and just feeling you're the world's fastest hero. I really don't mind Sonic Team trying new things, but they should really think about what made Sonic great. Sonic Forces on the other hand offered me the unique experiences of being thrown into a level that was about 70% water slope and you could hardly control your avatar or the force of the water that hit him and I ended up dead several times while collecting rings because the water had just gushed me out of the slope and there was nothing that could be done about it. I don't remember much from Sonic: Lost World, but I remember being turned into a snowball and trying to roll this clunky ball of baggage over a ground full of holes. Speaking of Sonic Forces, we have just so many levels where you have to do things that are no fun, especially because the controls are usually way too clunky for this. For example, most people like the existing characters but there are so many of them, so what happens? You get to design your own stupid avatar in Sonic Forces who is basically the only one doing something in that game besides Sonic. I feel like they are paying too little attention to what's good and fun and are trying too hard to implement every kind of. ![]()
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